Movie Reviews of Watchmen
- Watchmen
I remember thinking, as I finished reading the comic of Watchmen about three years ago 'there is no way on earth anyone could pull this off as a film'. Gilliam tried, Greengrass even got into pre-production, but it was Zack '300' Snyder who was responsible for finally bringing this much loved book to the big screen.
Having just watched the resulting film on DVD, my initial concern turned out to be regrettably true. This is a crying shame, as Snyder does a fantastic job of bringing the universe of Watchmen to life. It's just that the inevitable change to the ending of the comic rings hollow and leaves viewers flat and non-plussed. Whereas the comic's denouement had a bleak climax that left the reader feeling less proud to be a member of the human race, the film not only glosses over the epic tragedy rained down on New York, but adds an almost upbeat coda with Night Owl II and Silk Spectre, almost as if the studio is trying to set up some kind of sequel; a knockabout domestic comedy about two retired vigilantes and their alcoholic mother.
All in all, no matter how good a job Snyder has done of nailing the look and tone of the comic, he fall short of nailing the soul.
- Watchmen
Unless you've been in a coma since "The Dark Knight" came out, most of you should know what I mean when I say "Watchmen". Its probably the most critically acclaimed comic (or "graphic novel") of the last 25 years, being named one of Times 100 Greatest Fiction Novels since...some...date...(i dont know, but its still quite an accomplishment isnt it?) Anyway, as soon as the previews started coming out, people started taking notice, and many of them (some people I know included) went out to buy the book to see what its all about. In almost every case the response was the same. Amazing. Masterful. Brilliant. With such amazing responses, I couldn't wait to see the movie, even opting not to read the book in order to be more engaged into the movie. So as I entered the theatre last night, you could say my expectations were pretty high.
What is my reaction to the long-awaited Watchmen?
A deafening "meh."
Let me start out by saying that Watchmen is not HORRIBLE. It is certainly not the worst movie I have seen. However, if I were going hour-for-hour I could make that case. Watchmen bounces wildly from "TELL ME MORE" to "JESUS CHRIST, HE'S STILL TALKING?" The ups and downs giving it the feel that a bipolar editor was at work here. However, I doubt Watchmen had an editor, even a mentally challenged one. This movie reminds me of the book Atlas Shrugged in the sense that you can sense true greatness in the work if only an editor was hired to sift through the minutes and minutes of seemingly pointless dialogue. The two and a half hours that I spent in that theatre could have EASILY been whittled down to and hour forty-five at best for all the more of a plot that the movie had.
Yes. Watchmen suffers from one of the worst symptoms of a bad movie - lack of plot. After the first guy dies in the beginning, the plot shits itself and dies on the spot, not to be revived again until the end of the movie, and even then its too late to save the movie from everything that happens in the middle.
Pretty much the only real plot we're given consists of people saying "someone is killing masked superheroes" and Rorschach's cryptic, angsty journal entries. (which in all fairness serve more as narration than plot) The world of Watchmen is certainly interesting, with a nuclear war about to break out, and richard nixon in his 5th (?) term. Everything has a nice feel of falling apart, and its one of the few things that made the long runtime worth it. Why do I mention this you ask? Because for how cool the world is, NONE of it is explained. Nixon is never explained. The law outlawing superheroes is never explained. Hell, half of the things that the characters do lacks motivation and reason. This movie's plot is like a bunch of unrelated organs attempting to form a body. The scenes make no sense. You really have to wonder why what is on screen is happening, as the story really gives you no idea.
The movie starts in the murdered Comedians city apartment and takes you to mars and several seemingly meaningless locations before spitting you out in Antarctica because something bad is happening there. (not that you would know or anything...)
And this is where I have to make an interjection. This movie likes to use popular songs in really inappropriate scenes where a laugh track would be more appropriate. The worst being a scene in which Rorschach and Nite Owl (?) are travelling to Antarctica with Hendrix's cover of "All Along The Watchtower" pumping in the background. It gives the feel of one of those horrible Youtube videos where a 13 year old puts a heavy metal song to something completely meaningless. I actually giggled quietly to myself when it happened. Another great scene involves Leonard Cohens original version of "Hallelujah" set to some really awkward sex. I'll let you see that for yourself though.
The acting is something I won't dwell on for long. I think all of the people did their jobs ok. None of it was horrible. Rorschach was represented pretty well, in my opinion, even if he did have a voice that made me cringe every time I heard it.
Something that I think was carried over to the movie was the writing. While not flawless, and sometimes even delving into really horrible lines and cliches, it is one of the better things about this movie. Theres not much more I can say about it other than its ok.
The last thing I want to do is make another comparison to Atlas Shrugged.
Something that bothers me about both is the fact that they both seem to have given up a good plot and good flow in order to get a message across. Plot should always, ALWAYS come first in these kind of movies. What the message is, however, I still don't really know. Is it that man is capable of horrible violence? Is it that secrets should sometimes be kept for the greater good? I really have no idea. Some people will claim to see some wonderful message in this movie that I just can't see. I can honestly say that I've seen 3 David Lynch movies and Pink Floyd's The Wall and got more out of them than I got from this movie. So any of you who want to scoff at my puny mind, unable to see the message in an almost three hour movie, go ahead and do it. I'll call bullshit. I've seen music videos with deeper meanings.
I know people will say "well man you have to read the book too, then you'll appreciate it more." Bullshit. A movie should be able to stand on its own merits without the help of extra material. When I saw "V For Vendetta" I loved it. It faithfully portrayed a good story that was possible to follow without giving into the "I dont get this, but I'll say I do to seem like an intellectual" peer pressure that comes along with Watchmen.
You know, even after all of my bitching, I won't say that its an absolutely horrible movie. It does have redeeming factors that make it at least worth a rental or a Pirate Bay download. And it is certainly not the worst movie I've seen so far this year (Friday the 13th), however I wouldn't hesitate to call it the biggest disappointment of the year so far.
On a scale of 1-5 stars, Watchmen is a 2.
-Joey
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